I Got Stampeded in Dixie

This is a combination show review and food review of Dixie Stampede.  Permission has not been given to write this review.  All opinions are mine and are entirely biased.  Read at your own risk.

The pic on the right is an official souvenir photo of me and Melissa. If you're looking for an authentic "Western" experience, go somewhere else.  Whatever the official brochure says, I highly doubt the story about the wagon races is accurate.  The true history of the attraction is probably more like: a group of circus performers with horse riding skills decided to settle down and open a permanent attraction.  For one thing, there is no way that little arena could house any kind of full-sized race.  Dixie Stampede is a one-ring circus complete with ringmaster.

That being said, the performers are highly skilled.  If a circus act is what you've come to see, you won't be disappointed.  There are some spectacular examples of horseback riding and gymnastics.  There are dance routines.  There are clown acts and a magic act (involving horses and wagons).  Interspersed between the rehearsed numbers are actual races and competitions between the performers as well as some audience participation.  A mock rivalry is established between north and south sides of the arena (equated with North and South sides of the Civil War), and audience members from each side compete head-to-head in a series of county fair style contests including broomstick riding, kids' chicken chasing, and giant horseshoe throwing (with toilet bowl seats as the "shoes").  It all culminates with a patriotic spectacle and a projected message from Dolly Parton.

The most unusual part of the evening (though perhaps not so unusual for Branson) is that while all these performances are going on, the audience is also being served a 7 course meal.  In keeping with the "Western" theme of the attraction (and probably cutting down on costs as well), there is no silverware provided.  Audience members eat with their hands.  The highlight of the meal, in my opinion, was the soup, a creamy vegetable, which is drunk directly out of the bowl or mopped up with the provided cheese biscuit.  The main course is an entire small chicken, after which the single pork cutlet seemed superfluous.  The potato half seemed like an afterthought as well and needed more toppings to make it interesting.  The corn-on-the-cob needed butter.  Desert was a tasty apple pastry.

All-in-all, the circus acts were impressive and the comedy sketches served to break things up.  The interspersed nature of the various performances and audience participation allowed different audience members to eat during the parts they care less for and watch the show during parts they were more intersted in.  Though my overall impression was of an attraction more suited to children and retirees, I enjoyed myself and even went home with a souvenir, a pair of boot-shaped mugs.