Looking for "The End"

So everyone's wondering what happened next.  I had all these plans, this whole grand delusion about what was going to happen, what God's plan was for me.  And I really, really, wanted it to happen.  Well, several things did happen.

First of all, I realized that my delusion was just that, a delusion.  But I couldn't shake the idea that I was meant for something.  I thought I might become a writer.  However, I was also realizing that writers need something to write about.  I was a science fiction fan, but science fiction writers have always tried to predict the future.  I was a Christian, so there was only one future I could go with.  Also, the conflict between science and religion was starting to wear at me.  I had met some Christians who also happened to be science majors, who completely rejected the whole Creation Science doctrine.  My whole worldview was starting to collapse.

I haven't written much about politics yet, but it's my firm belief that most people are shortsighted when it comes to politics.  They don't think much about where the current policies are going to go in the next, say, hundred years or so.  Both liberals and conservatives are basically trying to preserve the status quo in a world that has already moved far beyond both of them.  I needed something big to happen, so I latched on to the first hope available to me.

Nobody really talks about the Y2K bug anymore, and why should they?  After all, nothing happened.  On January 1st 2000, a few cash registers displayed 19100 or maybe 20100 in the year field of their register tapes, and that was all.  Everyone breathed a sigh of relief.  Of course, who knows what might have happened if not for the tireless efforts of thousands of engineers and programmers working behind the scenes to make sure that's all that happened?

The point, however, is what might have happened, what many millions of people were afraid would happen.  The country in chaos?  All the computerized institutions we rely on deleting all their records?  Massive reprisals against all the computer scientists in the world?  All of us with imaginations were afraid.  I was afraid too, but I also saw massive opportunities.  It was a good time to get out of technology.  I would go on the road, observe the aftermath, and write about it.

I grew up on apocalyptic scenarios.  Those in the Christian community who don't know their history think that the book of Revelation is some kind of prophecy about the End Times instead of a heretical work about the Church itself during the time when it was written..  During my four years of high school, I was subjected to no more than three seminars about the End Times.  I was assured constantly that Jesus was coming back someday.  I knew all about the Tribulation, the time during which all True Believers would be prosecuted.  Of course, as a Fundie Christian, I knew that the Rapture would happen first and I would be pulled bodily up to Heaven, but I also  feared, and hoped, that the translations were wrong and that I would be left behind.  What better time, I thought, to prove my faith than during the End Times.  "Pack Your Bags: Jesus is Coming," exclaimed one seminar I attended.  I was sure the time was coming soon.

Knowing what I know now, the thought was pretty ridiculous.  Most of the students I went to school with thought it was ridiculous, too.  My parents thought it should all be taken with a grain of salt.  I, however, was a believer.  I was sure that Y2K would be The End, or at least close enough that civilization would have to be rebuilt from scratch.  I wanted to be there, at the beginning.  I wanted my words, my observations, my insights, to mean something.

I love America.  I think this is the greatest country the world has ever seen.  That being said, though, America is not without its flaws.  I wanted to help correct some of those flaws.  For one thing, the Rich are far too powerful in this country.  But that's a blog for another day.  I wanted to be there to start the country over from scratch.  I wanted to influence the next generation with my insights.

So in the winter of 1998, I quit school.  It's a long story.  A lot of factors came into play.  I wanted so many things for myself.  Most of all, I wanted life experience.  I wanted something to write about.  I wanted to be there, on the outskirts, when it all went down.